this blog and its content are meant to glorify the Almighty.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

The cost of dating and the cycle of a relationship

Having a relationship at the age of 16-20 is in fact too early. Through experienced adults, I somehow agreed it's too early too. However, some might not think so. On the contrary, many thought that at the age of 18-20 should be the period where they should be finding themselves a partner.
So what exactly is a relationship? I bet readers have been bored from what I have been explaining since. But I will still do so until more and more people understand the true meaning of it. At the teenage years, most of us are being blinded by lust that we thought is love. Even if some might defined it as love, it might not be true love. Finding a partner can be difficult if the one you are seeking is the 'real one'.
In today's context, having one partner after another doesn't really seem a big deal after all. Many will just continue to find and be with the ones they desire. Until the day when they found out that they can't cope with one another's attitude, they will just end the relationship. And after a period, begin finding another. Is this the correct way of using a 'trial and error' method to find your life partner? The answer is definitely NO.
As the word 'life' partner implements, the one that we will be together with will last forever. Not just a moment but the time that we will be spending with here on earth. During my years in secondary school, many of my friends like to compare the number of 'ex' they have. They are proud of it when the one with the most 'ex' confessed. But actually, these are the people who are not seeking for true love but lust. That was (is) why many would want a beautiful girl and handsome guy. This is not incorrect but incomplete.
In order to choose for a real one, it really takes time and effort. Which by our sinful nature, always fail to do so. So how to look for a real partner? There are actually several ways to do so, which I learnt it from a dao(3) shi(4) during one of the fellowship on sunday. It was a meaningful session for all of us although there were not many who turned up.
FIRSTLY: For any relationship, it must always starts from the level of friendship. Skipping this level to the next doesn't make any sense. I shall explain this:
To begin finding, the best way is to go out with a group of friends. And through this outing, develop an intimate friendship with the rest and you will eventually find out who suits you. How? Basically, when you are with a group of friends, one would usually behave like 'themselves', and therefore, you would know what are their 'true faces'.
SECONDLY: Having a relationship is not of those of a 'play play' attitude but requires a serious one. If you want to just satisfy you wants (lust), then just go ahead. But it will surely end up hurting one's feeling. As mentioned at the bottom of my blog, the best expression of love is time. And therefore, finding the ultimate one do needs time to develop. I was once unconscious of lust, so I got myself fallen into the hole of lust which I regretted later.
To have a relationship is to be ready for you are spending the rest of your life with the one from the truth. In other word, the ultimate goal of having a relationship is to get married! Simple as that. It might seems far-sighted but it is still the ultimate meaning and purpose to a relationship.
THIRDLY, set your priority well. Do not put your relationship with your partner before the relationship you are having with your friends. This is because, friends are always more important. They share your problems and accompany you throughout your life. Yup, of course your precious one can do so but having a relationship is not always stable. Relationship fluctuates. And when you encounter times when you two quarrel, you will still need your friends to seek help from. When your friends do feel neglected by you due to the relationship you are having, they will gradually leave you. Consequently, when you face times of trouble, you will not have any friends to turn out to and you will then experience what is the meaning of being lonely.
Normally for a guy, they get married at the age of 28 to 30. For girls, slightly earlier. And from the statistic, the amount of time for both to be at the 'peak' period of loving is 2 years. What do I mean by 'peak' period? It's the initial stage whereby a relationship gets started and one would find that whatever the partner do, they will say it's cute, amiable and stuff like that (the meaning is not exactly like this but somehow). After 2 years, these feelings will gradually fade and the year after which will be followed by a war between the sexes. I was quite shock upon hearing but come to think of it, it is quite true that what I saw among my friends proves it. All this is statistically proven, be it true or not is up to your imagaination.

eugene.

Last edited 8:52 PM

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